Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
