I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize