I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
