But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
