How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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