I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
