I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
