Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's blow job season.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
