Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
