I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
