Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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