btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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