I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
