so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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