Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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