I have demons in me.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
