Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
