so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
