I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize