i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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