My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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