I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
