If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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