Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
