i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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