took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
