We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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