piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
