i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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