My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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