you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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