Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
