just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
