You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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