So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think your dad took our porno
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
