Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
