i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
