Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
