Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
