Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
