toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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