It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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