The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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