Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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