too bad you live with your parents still
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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