So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's always time for handjobs
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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