More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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