oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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