Betty ford says i'm here all night
babies were throwing up all over the place
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
