Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
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