He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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