I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
