he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
