Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
