I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
