just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You should frame my arrest warrant.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
