guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
