I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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