maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
