he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
