Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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