sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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