your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
