Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
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