So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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