This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
